Imaginary lands, imaginary causes

OK, I’m going to get serious here for a moment. I apologize, but I promise it won’t last too long.
I am not a fan of Newt Gingrich. I don’t particularly agree with his policies, nor do I particularly like his persona. But I agree wholeheartedly with his recent statements concerning Palestine.
It is a historical fact that the nation of Palestine was the construct of a terrorist organization, the PLO, led by Yasser Arafat. And despite claims to the opposite, it is also a fact that Palestinian textbooks ignore the existence of Israel and teach Palestinian children to hate Jews. Hillary Clinton, too, has said vociferously that there cannot be peace until the Palestinian people change that practice.
Further, I am ever more appalled by the news media’s knee-jerk refutation of these facts, and automatic bias against Gingrich. It is clear that major news sources, for whatever reason, are in favor of the Palestinian “cause,” a cause célèbre that, itself, was an Arafat construct. The media’s continued overt support of the Palestinian “cause” and in particular its treatment of Gingrich’s historically accurate statements this weekend, serve to make me less proud to call myself a journalist, now more a pejorative term than ever before.
OK, seriousness over. Now, for the sake of comparison, I would like to present some media coverage of some other invented nations:

Committee to protect witches cries foul
Calling the recent murder of the “wicked” witch of the East “an example of the worst kind of stereotyping and bias crime,” the Oz-based Committee to Protect Witches is calling for an investigation into the death.

When this guy is your spokesperson, you know you've got problems.

“This was the crime of an undocumented immigrant,” Monkey F. Monkeyson, chairman of the committee, said. “Glinda the so-called ‘good’ witch is nothing more than a provocateur.”
Monkeyson went on to say that though the munchkins have presented themselves as an oppressed minority in Oz, though the truth is “quite different.”
“They pave their streets with gold,” he said. “The Lollipop Guild is one of the most powerful unions in Oz. They’re not oppressed at all.”

Orcs claim ‘Red Book’ masks genocide
The recent release of the “Red Book” by celebrity author Frodo Baggins is little more than an attempt to mask the coordinated genocide of the orcs of Middle Earth, so says Grinash, spokesman for advocacy group Orcs United.

"We're really just misunderstood. I, for example, am an award-winning poet."

“How long must we endure genocide at the hands of our neighbors,” Grinash said. “They lock us in caves, chop off our heads when we try to defend ourselves and then, to add insult to injury, call us monsters.”
During the recent conflict, millions of orcs were killed as King Aragorn ascended to the throne of Gondor and Anor. Grinash called the “Red Book,” released shortly after the conflict, an attempt to rewrite history.
Mr. Baggins was unavailable for comment.

Hyenas: We’re starving here
According to spokes-hyena Shenzi, King Simba’s much publicized “circle of life” includes everyone but the hyenas.
“We’re persecuted, forced to live in this land of bones, just so that the lions can have control of the pridelands,” Shenzi said. “They cast us as evil, teach their children to hate us, but it’s about resource control. The lions are controlling the marketplace by excluding us. That’s it.”

Raise your hand if you've been persecuted by the majority.

Shenzi went on to ask fair business practices on the pridelands, and that hyenas be given representation.
“We have no voice,” she said. “They see us as laughing scavengers, and it’s all a lie. We demand justice.”
A spokes-lion for King Simba roared, and chewed off the reporter’s legs.
Reach Jordan Fenster by email at Follow him on Twitter at


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